Celebrity Spotting
Celebrity spotting is one of my favorite pastimes. When I lived in LA, I worked at a record store on Sunset Boulevard where I saw celebrities all the time. I used to hang out with Jason Schwartzman before Phantom Planet shows. (Didn’t know that the star of I Heart Huckabee’s was in a band? You’re not the only one!)
When I lived in DC, I worked as a line-stander in the Russell building and saw all the politicians up close. What I noticed about Republicans is that their make-up looks like it was applied by an undertaker. What I noticed about Democrats is that they’re shorter than I thought they were on TV.
Now I live in Chicago. Here’s where I go to see celebrities:
Fernanda Rocha
This Brazilian beauty, the first lesbian housewife to appear on The Real Housewives of Orange County, is known for her magnificent abs and strenuous workout routines. She was recently the grand marshal at the annual Chicago Pride Parade. “It was so exciting, just being there and being Fernanda,” she gushed in a recent interview. “Any opportunity that I have to go and support [GLBT causes], I’m 100% there.”
Totally Legal! Gay Penguin Adoption
Certain unloving elements of the American popular consciousness have claimed that homosexuality is against nature, and that gay marriage, gay families and gay adoption are not allowed. Apparently penguins are perfectly capable of having healthy, loving gay families! Put that in your pipe and smoke it, Bill O’Reilly!
A gay penguin couple in China was recently given a hatchling penguin to care for. The chick, which was one of a set of twins, risked being not properly cared for after its mother struggled to care for it and its sibling. Apparently, twins aren’t very common in the penguin world.
According to Kevin McGowan or the Cornell Laboratory of Ornithology in Ithaca, N.Y., “newborn penguins require a great deal of attention and effort to protect.” McGowan continued: “It’s a big job creating a baby penguin. It’s definitely a two-penguin job.”
Rather than placing the baby bird at risk, the gay couple, which had previously been known to try and steal eggs during hatching seasons, were given the opportunity to raise the bird on their own. “In birds, it doesn’t matter what sex you are. Both sexes are perfectly capable and absolutely necessary to raise a penguin bird,” McGowan said, “It’s not like mammals where only one sex can feed.”
McGowan insists that the baby will not suffer from being separated from its biological parents, and would eventually accept the gay penguin couple as its parents. “It takes a little while to learn who your parents are,” he said, “Little kids just don’t care who feeds them. All they want is to be fed.”
Many are unfamiliar with information about penguins. This bird was first documented in the 1600s by explorers to colder parts of the Earth. The word “penguin” is Portuguese for “fat winged”, and it is believed that the first penguin lived in Peru more than 36 million years ago.
Despite the fact that they are unable to fly, penguins are considered to be birds which are believed to have adapted to living in the water in order to survive. As a result, what would have started off as wings eventually evolved into flappers, making them strong swimmers. Covered in a layer of fat, they are well-adapted to the cold, although some are known to get too hot.
There are nine penguin species: the Emperor, Adelie, King, Galapagos, Humboldt, Macaroni, Little Blue, Rockhopper, and African Penguins. Emperor penguins are located in the Antarctic; Adelie are also found in the Antarctic and along the coast of the Ross Sea. King penguins are found in the Antarctic, but also in New Zealand, Australia, Africa, and the Galápagos Islands. Humboldt penguins are found in South America, particularly in Peru and Chile. Macaroni penguins can be found in sub-Arctic regions, as can Rockhopper penguins. Little Blue penguins can be found in New Zealand. African penguins can be found in…you guessed it…Africa.
As you can see, penguins are far more than the dancing creatures commonly depicted in cartoons. They can be found in warm and cold climates, and are obviously as diverse as they come. Penguins are so interesting it might make you want to get a biology degree just to understand more about them. At the very least, stories like the one from China will make you view these birds in an entirely new light, and may just make you rethink everything you thought you knew about penguins.
Ousted Ex-Governor Convicted!! Humiliated Wife Eats Spider
It’s hard to tell which is more criminal, Rod Blagojevich or his hair!
OMG! It looks like his toupee is wearing a toupee(and so on in an infinite regression of toupees)!!!
The disgraced former Illinois governor gave new meaning to “So. Ill.” When he was arrested in 2008 for trying to sell President Obama’s senate seat. After a three-year legal battle against the criminal charges he was found guilty on 18 counts of corruption and was sentenced to 14 years in prison on Wednesday. (Un)Surprisingly, Blago’s Republican predecessor, George Ryan, also got locked in the clink for corruption. What’s really going on, Illinois?
The arrest and subsequent legal battle captured the nation by storm, but almost took a backseat to the majesty of Blago’s hair helmet. Leading hairdressers offered their opinions in a NYMag article.
“[T]here’s no name for that,” said Calvin Klein’s hairstylist Roberto Novo. “Ugh” — to gasp in horror.
“Jack Lord from ‘Hawaii 5-0’ called. He wants his look back,” said Chris McMillan, the man behind Jennifer Aniston’s famed shag. “It’s very dated,” concurred Sally Hershberger, whose clients have included Meg Ryan, Courtney Love and Hillary Clinton. “And it looks like a wig.” […] Marc Zowine of Chelsea, N.Y., pointed out that a rug is not exactly an act of honesty: “It’s a cover up. It says a lot about a person.”
The case was national news, but how did native Chicagoans feel about it? One blog, Cretin Country, had some passionate things to say:
First of all, I want anybody who voted for this capon at ANY point in his career to go outside and shoot yourself in the head. It’s the least you can do. What a complete and utter embarrassment for the state of Illinois. What a laughingstock.
It doesn’t sound like there’s any love lost for Blagojevich in Boystown Chicago, or any other district. Blago was essentially exiled in his own home and forced to watch as his career slipped quickly down the drain.
Despite this, Blago’s wife, Patti, stayed by his side. When propositioned for a spot on a Costa Rica-based reality show, Blago accepted but was detained by a judge until trial. Somehow, someway, Patti went in his place and ended up having to ingest a dead tarantula to feed her family.
It is a pitiful sight to behold, and I truly feel sorry for a woman who is pulled into the crosshairs to pay for the sins of her husband. In all the turmoil of the trial and allegations, the Blagojeviches ran low on money, and desperate times have always called for desperate measures, made more public and macabre in the age of reality and the all-seeing eyes of YouTube.
With Blago going upstate for a decade and a half, his wife and daughters will have to live in the shadow of his wrong-doing and hopefully emerge from it, though it’s not likely he ever will.
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